There is a nice guy who likes to help out at the tefillin stand from time to time. Last week he asked me, "What do you say to them when they say that they do not want to put on tefillin?"
"Tell them that maybe they don't want to put them on, but their soul wants to put them on."
A half an hour later he came running up to me, "See that big Israeli guy over there…he told me that he didn't want to put on tefillin so I told him that maybe he didn't want to put them on but his soul wanted to put them on, and he said 'okay'! It worked!"
A Jew has an animal soul, an intellectual soul, and a holy soul. The holy soul always wants to do holy things but if the animal soul doesn't agree, or if the intellectual soul gets lazy, the holy soul will not get its way. Sometimes reminding a Jew that he has a holy soul will wake up his intellectual soul, and then with both the holy soul and the intellectual soul pulling for it, the animal almost always gives in.
Pushing the animal doesn't work. You can't be tough with the Jews you are trying to help or they will push back even harder. You can't push them, but you can pull them. Pull them with kindness, intellect, and holiness.