I have a very strong inner pull on the Torah, when I study the mystical aspects of Torah I feel that it is like water flowing, bright. But I limit this study to create a good base in other areas of the Torah. But why when I study the law and Talmud I feel inner resistance.
It is so difficult to learn, and I do not have the thirst to deepen Jewish law beyond lifestyle needs.
Sometimes I really feel that I force myself to deal with these legal subjects of Torah. I understand that it is important because it prepares the person and building the right tools, and without it you can be in a castle in the air while on the ground will have poor Habits.
What is the correct way of looking at the laws of the Torah without feeling resistance, or how to reduce the resistance?
Thank G-d you are aware of the great joy of the mystical aspects of Torah. That joy will sustain you through all of the ups and downs in life.
As for the "legal" learning, the Talmud, yes it is difficult. It is even called breaking your teeth!
There are a couple of ways to look at it that might make it easier for you. The straining of your mind develops your mental strength. Obviously, this is a desired goal in life. But even more importantly, especially for Jews like you, you have to look for those wonderful ideas that you see as water flowing within the legal aspects of Torah, too. Hashem gave us the Talmud, the Oral Law, so we will be able to know how to fulfill His Written Law, so the same "flowing water" is surely going to be in the details, too. It was from these details that the authors of those mystical books that you love found their ideas. So the "trick" is for you to learn to bring the legal aspects into your life and become elevated by them so you will live in the "brightness" that you love.
An example; The Mishnah tells us that when a Jew offers up a cow it is a sweet aroma to Hashem. Or, if he offers up a sheep it is a sweet aroma to Hashem. Or, if he offers up a meal offering it is a sweet aroma to Hashem. It goes on to say that this is true only if he directs his heart to Heaven. So we see that the directing of the heart is even more important than the amount of money you spend on your offerings. Now take this "dry" legal aspect of the Law and apply it in your life. Practice "directing your heart to Heaven."
Look for these types of instructions while you learn the Legal aspects of Torah and your learning will take on the "brighter" shade of light that you seek.
I was glad to get your letter, I have read your words and I saw that you understood my mind.
I found these tips… pearls. I thank you very much for the advice.