Tuesday, February 03, 2015

// // 6 comments

Help!

​  by Reb Gutman Locks  

Help!

 

  A viewer wrote:  

     I recently saw some of your videos: I am a Jewish woman who has endured many tragedies. I am not going to say that I did not bring any of them on myself, but the problems have been snowballing for years, no one wants to help me, or get involved.

     I am losing my faith in Hashem, but worse, I am losing my faith in myself. I have suicidal feelings, my self-esteem has taken a tremendous blow and it's been going on for years. I am having trouble picking myself up off the ground. I make the wrong choices because I do not believe in myself anymore. Can you counsel me?

 

Gutman response: 

      First of all, know that we all choose our moods by thinking about the things that we are interested in. Either for good or for bad, you are interested in those negative thoughts that you have.

     If you are really interested in picking yourself up, then, whenever a negative thought comes, know that that thought is a sign that you have to think two positive thoughts. Try this for an hour and see what happens.

    Ask yourself; do you have a toothache? No. Thank G-d. Do you have an operation scheduled? No. Thank G-d. Do you have enough to eat? Yes. Thank G-d. And go on like this for an hour. But remember, since you have been down so long your mind is used to and even strangely comfortable thinking about negative things. When you think about something that hurt you a long time ago, you are allowing it to hurt you again today. This is why you are living in torment. Instead, you can train yourself to think about the wonderful things in your life, and you will see what happens.

     As for suicide; G-d forbid, there is never relief in this. The Torah teaches reincarnation[i] and that we all come back again to the place that we cause ourselves to inherit. The person who does such a horrible thing, not only brings great pain to those he or she leaves behind, but that soul has to come back in another incarnation to the same place it left, until it works out that very problem.

    Try what I said for a while, and then let me know how you are doing. It will not be simple, but you can do it if you really want to live a comfortable, pleasant life.

Be well

Gutman

 



[i] For instance: "I hereby forgive anyone who has hurt me…in this incarnation or in any other."  prayer before sleep

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

When things are so hard and you wonder what you're doing here at all, you have to hold on and hope for and believe that better days will come.

In addition to the spiritual side of things, I think that it's important to focus on practical, tangible steps, even baby steps, that you are capable of taking in the here and now.

Is there anyone you can reach out to to ask for help or support? Even if it is just for a short period, like half an hour a week, for a conversation.

Is there any activity you enjoy? Do a little of it every day.

Is there something you can do to pamper yourself. Again even something small.

Is there anyone you can think of whom you could help, with something practical or even just with a friendly word? Try to do this at least once a week, or more if possible.

I'm also going through a really hard time on my own with no apparent end in sight, so I can really relate to what you wrote.

I can also recommend books and classes by Rav Arush and Rav Brody at http://lazerbrody.typepad.com/

I wish you all the best and hope that you see better times soon, B"D.





Anonymous said...

She should go to a psychologist or social worker. if the situation is this bad, and has been like this for a long time, most probably she cannot get better on her own, even with best advice.

Anonymous said...

I was where you are (in my own way). The Chabad JLI course on "How Happiness Thinks" got me off medication and off anxiety/depression. There are some YouTubes of the course from Chabad SW Coral Springs (unfortunately missing session 4). But get medication if your doctor says you need it; if you hurt your leg you need a crutch until healed; similarly here. You can also study how the Rebbe dealt with crisis in youtube's of "A Movement on Trial" if you search the term: very inspiring.

Schvach said...

Dear lady: Here's my advice. If you're Jewish, then get yourself to a women's yeshiva - quick! Stay and learn for a couple of years. I guarantee you'll feel better about yourself and about life in general

Kof said...

I am going through exactly the same thing - Baruch Hashem, there is now a tiny fragment of light in the tunnel. Very wise words from the Rabbi above. If you want to send me your details (I'm sure Mystical Paths would be kind enough to put us in touch;) then I'll happily forward you all the strategies and prayers that I used to dig myself out of a very big hole. You're not alone, although when your mind is twisting in itself, it can feel like you are. All the best for a refuah shleimah.

joshua manevitz said...

The problem you have also has a chemical cause, and it is not your fault as the water we drink has little or no lithium especially if you live in Israel the chances are very high the water is desalinated and is lacking the key mineral that prevents suicide which is more effective than any medicine in regards to suicide I know this is hard to believe but this is a medical fact, that 99.999% are not aware of. I'm talking about Lithium ,which often works in minutes . The only kind that I recommend is Lithium Orotate and you can buy it without a prescription at this link below
http://www.iherb.com/ortho-molecular-products-lithium-orotate-60-capsules/20753?rcode=vit270

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