at the Western Wall with Reb Gutman Locks on Mystical Paths
I almost always try to get a picture of them smiling happily, but in cases like this, I try to get them to see themselves looking foolish. It is not so clear to the viewer, but the look on his face is really him saying, “Oh! No!”
If you look closely you can see that he has at least four earrings piercing his ears! Not such a bright thing to do. To get them to understand why it is not so bright (to put it mildly), when I take the picture, I ask, “When you get married, who is going to wear the pants in the family?” This means who is going to be the boss in the house.
Men, especially inexperienced men, think that they are going to rule the house when they get married. They feel that this is how they have to express their manliness. The smart woman very quickly learns to say, “That’s right dear, you are in charge, now please help me wash the floors, and also please take out the garbage.” And the smart man soon learns that he is in charge, as long as his wife doesn’t need anything.
Back to my young man in the picture…After they answer my question about who is going to wear the pants and they say, “I am!” I ask, “Then, who is going to wear the earrings?”
Almost always they catch on right away, laugh, look a little stupid, and say something like he did, “Oh, I was young when I did it.”
And I said, “Okay, but you are not young anymore. Take them out so the girl will know that you are looking for a girl, someone who wears earrings.”
He said that he would take them out, and I told him to come back when he has them out so I can see what he really looks like.
Is a secular Jewish man allowed to have earrings? Yes. Is it a smart thing to do? No.
And if you love your fellow man (or woman) and you are in a position to help them, then you have to be pretty callous not to try.