by Reb Gutman Locks @ Mystical Paths
You said that we should love all Jews, especially if there is no real reason to love them. Well, my wife’s uncle has an abrasive, rude streak, and has really hurt my wife’s feelings on many occasions. How are you supposed to love someone like this?
Even though a particular Jew might be obnoxious, and I admit that some of us are, there are a few things that you can do so you will not tread on the mitzvah, “Not to hate your brother in your heart.”[i]
The most important thing, perhaps, is to try to shift your dislike from the obnoxious person, to his obnoxious behavior. So instead of saying, “I hate that guy,” you can say, “I hate the way that guy acts.” It also helps to remember that he probably went through a lousy life in order to end up where he is, and thank G-d, I had it so easy.
Remember, when you hate someone, that hatred never leaves your heart. It stays in there, ferments, and makes you feel really terrible. It doesn’t reach the one you hate, not at all. It only hurts you!
And of course the one who loves feels love in his heart. He lives a loving life. So for your own sake, it makes a lot of sense to love whatever you can.
[i] Leviticus 19:17