by Reb Akiva at Mystical Paths
Late summer is picking time for many wonderful local and imported fruits growing in the Holy Land. One of the more succulent fruits is the famous sabra.
As they grow wild around the country right on the roadside, they seem readily available for easy picking. So tonight I decided to head out with my children to pick us some sabras!
Now wait a minute you must be thinking, these are prickly pears, you don't just run up and grab them - it's a freaking cactus fruit, grabbing it can definitely be dangerous! Not to worry, I told my dear children, I have a plan. Tools - pliers, crowbar, pipe wrench, items that could reach. We were set, off we went to pick prickly pear at night.
(About this point, you've got to be thinking, this can't end well, how right you are...)
We captured a few fruits, it was going ok. Then one of my children grabbed a fruit noting it had no visible long prickles. She passed it around, see - no long pokey prickles.
At this point, one of the children went to pick up their tool and screamed, OOOUUUCH. Grab the flashlight, let me see. Ohhhh Nooooo, that little happy prickle-less fruit was indeed covered with prickles, little tiny millimeter long prickes which were now embedded by the tens or hundreds in my children's hands (and mine!) Oooouuuuuuch.
We have neither enough light nor the right tools to remove them, everyone is trying to hold absolutely still in the car (ahhh, someone touched their arm moving a prickle from hand to arm, ahhhh - someone scratched their stomach and now has a stomach prickle, a face scratch, ahhhhh). This went on as we carefully drove home, me holding the steering wheel with 2 fingers (prickles in the others, ahhhhh). My little girl is crying, ahhhhh.
Run into the house (carefully, carefully, don't touch anything, fingers are covered in prickles, ahhhh). Help dear wife and mother, where's the tweezers, help us.....
Crazy eldest daughter says, "I got pricked for it, I'm eating it!" She tries to peel it, carefully carefully, ahhhhh, more prickles! Ok, it's peeled, she's biting it, ahhhh, prickle in the mouth!!! We're trying to tweeze her tongue!!!! And lip, double ahhhhhhhh!!!!
Ahh, her brother bumped up against her, prickle in the thigh, ahhhh!
Help us, help us, it's the attack of 1,000 needles.
We are never going anywhere near a sabra again, I don't care if it's in the supermarket and supposedly safe. These are evil fruit, stay away, far far away.
- WARNING - SABRA - STAY AWAY - LETHAL FRUIT -
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BS"D - בסיעתא דשמיא