by Akiva at Mystical Paths
UN Secretary Ban Ki Moon Caught in Clown Scandal
(MP) NEW YORK, NY - Investigators today released information showing that United Nations Secretary General has been involved with illicit clown activities for some time.
Chief investigator Tim Brown said, "We realized over the past few months that the Secretary General's Israel situation pronouncements could only be made by someone who was either incredibly poorly informed, on the take, or just plain stupid. As an example, take today's statement made while Israel's civilian population was under a barrage of 24 missiles and Israel has made no attacks on Gaza in a week..."
'Israel's disproportionate and excessive use of force has killed and injured many civilians including children ... I condemn these actions and call on Israel to cease such acts.'
"Now," the investigator continued, "such a statement in blatant contradiction of reality required serious investigation. We closely reviewed the Secretary General's mental health records and IQ, and found both acceptable. But, a close review of his financial records found a series of suspect transactions. At first we suspected corruption, but finding payments to a series of shell corporations ultimately associated with the NY Apple Circus, we determined that the Secretary General has been taking illicit clown training. As part of this training involves ongoing hits to the head with a large rubber mallet, we believe the Secretary General's recent statements can be attributed to serious confusion resulting from this illicit clown training.
The above photo of the Secretary General was captured by our undercover investigators prior to his recent press conference."
Phew, that clears a few things up.
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Thursday, March 13, 2008
// 3/13/2008 //