Sunday, January 20, 2008

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Thinking and Questions, Then Again Not

by Reb Nati at Mystical Paths

I spent the day walking when I was supposed to be in yeshiva learning. I mean the day started ok; Wake up, wash up, get dressed, say brachas. Drink a cup off coffee (fell off the herbal tea and sugar substitute, my diet is shot, Hashem willing I'll have the strength to return to it, the pains are back...Baruch Hashem).

I walked from the yeshiva (in Meah Shearim) to the Old City via the Shechem (Damacus) gate, through the middle of the muslim quarter to Shuvah Banim, the yeshiva of Harav Eliezer Brelend. For the first time in 12 years, and the first time unarmed. I walked with two talmidim of Shuva Banim. We walked and blessed Hashem and each other, talking about our rebbaim and the Torah. Not even paying attention to where we were or what was going on around us.

Emunah chazak, it felt good to just trust in Hashem and not even think about it. Really, I took no thought of it! Wow! I mean, I used to walk around all the time in condition yellow, with one in the pipe, ready to rock, always scanning the doors, windows, classifying targets, judging treats, assigning priories. I mean jacked up and good to go sir let's rock! .... Wait just minute? What Yaakov?

(Emergency Pause, ambulance, child...) I'm now back from the ambulance that just came because my son was shocked with 220v, Baruch Hasem all is well, they checked him out, it only took 3 minutes to get here and we know all the young men. We made a minyan for me to daven ma'ariv. But pray for Yaakov Shmuel ben Leah Malka.

I really felt and realized the matrix today as I prayed for an apartment in Jerusalem near the yeshiva. Also as I went to pull my chavrusa out of his home and drag him back to learn. Bauch Hashem. I looked at a 3 million dollar house in the Old City, I mean a regular apartment in Jerusalem is $300,000, I'm crazy right, but the rav said what's a few zero's, zero they are nothing for Hashem.

Likutey Moharan #33. Mi HaIsh Hechafeit Chaim, Who is the person who desires life, who loves days of seeing good. (Psalms 34:13) The principle is that a person should pursue peace. He should see to it that there is peace between Jews, and that each person is at peace with his attributes - i.e. he should not be conflicted within himself over what happens to him. It should make no difference to him whether he experiences good times or bad, he always finds Hashem in it.

Being at peace means total trust in Hashem, no doubts at all, not even a thought of how or where or if? Just like it's a movie. "When man makes peace with Hashem, then Hashem makes even his enemies to be at peace with him." They can' touch you! How is that a person can find Hashem in every thing? It's only through the Torah, which is called peace, as is written all her paths are peaceful" (Proverbs 3:17). And by means of the Tzaddikim, who are called "covenant of peace".

As a result a person can love peace in every situation, both in good times and... And there can be peace between Jews, with them loving one another. Only in this manner can a person come to true inner peace. This is the foundation of Emunah!

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