by nava at Mystical Paths
He was a young secular guy living in Tel Aviv until he died and then, everything changed.
This is his story:
My soul left my body while the doctors were pumping my heart. Outside the tunnel was a white light but inside the tunnel, it was all dark. I saw many souls that were trapped inside because they did not yet merit to be judged. The souls on the left side of the tunnel suffered tremendeously. Souls placed on the right side, their suffering was also great but somewhat less.
When I emerged out of the dark tunnel, I saw my grandfather crying. I tried approaching him but the distance between us widen like from earth to heaven. I didn't see my grandmother but heard her screaming and crying.
I was led into the 2nd world, and saw the Angel of Death, the S"M. The S"M looked like a human but was covered in black peel (קליפה) and his height is unimaginably tall, very very tall, beyond human conception. Behind the S"M were 'squads' of angels of destruction. They were all created from my sins. The angles of destruction didn't have a physical body - they were just just eyes, eyes all over. They were yelling at me, "Wicked, wicked, wicked. We are the sons that you created, we are your sons that you rejected." These destructing angels were created from the transgression of זרע לבטלה - spilled sperm in vain. This in itself is worse than Gehenom... The shame was unbearable and all were yelling, "Your name be wiped off from the earth, wicked!".
If a person knew what he is going to pass in Shamayim for committing the sin of זרע לבטלה - spilled sperm in vain, oy (shame) to him. Only those that pass this can know.
Heaven is my witness that this is what happens to every person that transgresses the sin of זרע לבטלה - spilled sperm in vain. The shame is so great.
The second squad of angels of destructions had no body, only black wings. They were yelling at me, "Wicked, wicked wicked, you know who we are? We are the Shabbat that you transgressed."
A book was shown to me and it contained all the sins I transgressed on Shabbat. I wanted to die.
The third and fourth squad of angels of destructions looked physically like human but with faces of chicken. The third squad were created from the Lashon Hara, slandering of others, that I spoke and heard. The fourth squad were created from the forbidden non-Kosher food I ate.
There were many many more squads of angels of destructions but I cannot remember. The shame was so great and I wanted to run away from the shame but there is no where to hide. I wanted to die and be placed in Gehenom already to avoid the shame. I ran away but on the right side of the S'M snakes came biting at me and all were yelling, "Wicked, wicked, wicked".
I stopped running and in a split second, I was shown a 'movie' of my life and I accepted the judgment. But I was asking myself, "I know I sinned and created all these angels of destructions from sins. But didn't I do anything good, any Mitzvot?".
I was shown a book which contained my life; every night my soul ascended to Shamayim and I'd be judged for sins I committed that day. Every night after judgment in Heaven, I signed that the judgment is just.
Just when I was thinking if I didn't do anything good, a Mitzvah, this book was shown to me but I was unable to allow them to open the book. I had so much shame because when I saw the book, I realized that I sinned so much.
The Ministering Angels entered and this somewhat, decreased the shame I was feeling by a tiny bit. Then I heard my grandmother from the 1st world crying and screaming, shaking the worlds, "CHACHAM YOSEF CHAIM, CHACHAM YOSEF CHAIM, BEN ISH CHAI (zs'l)".
Before Chacham Yosef Chaim entered this world, a tremendeous Light came inside and the Light spread all over. It's a Light of Mercy, Judgment, Infinite. Chacham Yosef Chaim entered and more Light entered with him.
The squads of angels of destructions moved to the corner. The Ben Ish Chai asked, 'Who is this person, what did he do?". After hearing from the prosecutors and defenders who I was, he said, "We will go down and ask who this person is".
They all descended to the lower world and I followed behind them. It looks exactly like our world, like a perfect copy of our world. I call it the 'copy-world'. Many souls came to greet the Ben Ish Chai and the Light grew tremendeous.
We went to the cemetery.
When I was alive, I used to wash graves twice a year. Once before Rosh HaShana and once before Yom Kippur. This began about 7 years ago when I went to visit my grandfather's grave in Netanya. I saw next to my grandfather's grave was a very dirty grave and decided to clean it. There was a book lying there and saw that it was תפילת השכבה (prayers for the dead,) and I said השכבה for this soul. I saw other dirty graves and washed and cleaned them also. I thought in my mind that this is the least I can do, a Mitzva, before Rosh HaShana. Also I thought it might give the souls buried in the grave some comfort by cleaning it. I spiritually enjoyed this very much and eventually, I'd go to other cemeteries, in Kiryat Shaul, Yarkon, etc. and cleaned neglected graves.
In the 'copy-world', we went to Netanya (it was a copy of Netanya in the copy-world). The soul that I prayed for in this cemetery came forward to the Ben Ish Chai and the Ben Ish Chai asked this soul, "Who is this person?". The soul answered, "This person comes twice a year and cleans my grave and prayes השכבה for me."
A 17 year-old-girl also came forward, her name was Zemira. She is also buried in the cemetery in Netanya. The Ben Ish Chai pointed at me and asked her, "Who is this person?", and she answered, "This person washed and cleaned my grave and gave the cemetery caregiver 100 shekels to fix my gravestone."
We went from grave to grave that I cleaned and washed in the lower world when I was alive. It was in the same order that I performed in the lower world. From Netanya to Kiryat Shaul, every grave was in the order that I cleaned them. All the souls that I cleaned their grave and said השכבה for them, defended me.
But it was not enough merit for me to return to the world.
I was taken to the cemetery in Netanya to be buried but the souls defended me and refused to allow me to be buried there. I was taken to the cemetery in Kiryat Shaul and again, the souls defended me and would not allow for me to be buried there.
I was taken to the cemetery in the Yarkon and waited for my body to be brought to be buried. On the right side of me, I see a group of 40 people crying for me and eulogizing. I see my body taken out from Tahara (cleansing of the body) and carried on the stretcher and taken towards my burial ground. The group of people that were eulogizing me caused me so much pain and suffering. I behaved in the lower world not as a kosher Jew and they said things that were not true such as I was a good man and never sinned... The soul and the body suffers so much from these lies. It causes for additional judgment in Shamayim. In Heaven, the squads of angels of destructions that I created were yelling at the mourners, "Liars, liars! He is wicked, wicked, wicked".
I see from Shamayim and from atop my body that these people are lying about me and I waited for at least one person to say some Divrei Torah but they just continued lying about me. I yelled towards to these people, "It's not true - I'm a wicked wicked person." But no one from the group of 40 people that are eulogizing me heard me and they continued lying that I was a good person and never sinned...
While they were eulogizing, Angels of destructions ran after me holding torches of fire and were burning me with the torches.
If I was able to kill all the people that were eulogizing and lying about me, I'd have killed them.
I kept yelling towards the mourners, "I'm wicked, wicked. Stop lying!". The suffering was unbearable and not one said Divrei Torah for me.
I was placed in the grave and my soul went to heaven. I had so much pain and felt so much remorse. If I'd have known that this is the results of my sins, I'd have sold my motorcycle and all my 'toys', and would have only sat in a Bet Midrash and learn Torah, all day all night. I'd not have rested one minute, I'd occupy myself only with Mitzvot, Torah, and charity.
Before Shamayim gave the verdict of my judgement, a black hole opened up and 2 angels appeared. They looked totally different than all the previous angels I saw. Each angel was standing on each side of the black hole. I knew this 'black hole' was something bad, a place of no ruling and I felt so much regret.
The Ben Ish Chai was about to rule that everything that I just witnessed is my judgment...
Just then, a loud piercing scream was heard and it shook all the worlds. This scream came from a year and half old baby and her baby sister.
About 4 years ago, I collected donations to build tombstones for them. These 2 souls did not have a grave and I cried for them and decided to build them a respectable grave. At the time, I wasn't able to go to sleep and would think in my mind 'how is it possible that I have a cozy bed and these souls don't even a proper grave?'.
The piercing yelling came from these sisters, Z'mira and Amira, a'h. They passed away about 40 years ago and one is buried in Kiryat Shaul and the other in Holon. Z'mira yelled, "Chacham Yosef Chaim, Chacham Yosef Chaim - this person build for us tombstones. He did a Mitzvah, it is known that a person is rewarded just for walking to do the Mitzvah, even when he just walks to shul..."
In Shamayim, when the verdict is ready to be given, all gates are locked because judgment has been ruled. Everyone was bewildered by this defense, at the time when all the gates are locked.
This defense helped me a lot but not enough, I was still very far from meriting to be found innocent.
Again Z'mira yelled, "Chacham Yosef Chaim, Chacham Yosef Chaim - this person did for us גילוי מצבה (tombstones after the 30 days and Kaddish is said).
Z'mira's defense caused a big bewilderment in heaven. It was decided to bring 'sleeping people' to testify to its authenticity. Sleeping people are people that are alive in the lower world and their neshamot (souls) are brought to testify. It was shown how I successfully convinced 9 men to come to the cemeteries to say Kaddish for these neshamot. I had a very difficult time to convince one man to come to the cemetery to say Kaddish, he kept saying, "Not now, I'm in a hurry". It was shown how I was begging him to join the minyan just to hear the Kaddish and only to answer Amen.
This person's soul was also brought to Shamayim (while his body was sleeping in the lower world) to testify how I convinced him to join the Minyan of men to answer Amen after saying the Kaddish in the cemetery.
The outcome of this defense helped my soul tremendeously and it was announced that I am innocent. But it was not enough to be able to return to my body and correct myself.
Just then, Z'mira's sister, Amira, the one whom is buried in the Holon cemetery yelled loudly, shaking all the worlds, "Chacham Yosef Chaim, Chacham Yosef Chaim, this person bought holy Sefarim (books) for the elevation of our souls."
With the left-over donation money after building the tombstones, my sister and I decided to purchase 50 holy Sefarim and we gave it to Yeshivat Nefesh of Rabbi Nachman (zs'l) for the elevation of the souls of these sisters.
Amira said, "This person bought for us Sefarim to help people to do Teshuva. If one person was effected by the Sefer (books) he donated and contemplated doing Teshuva, isn't this considered?". As she was saying this, her 'hand' was flinging from right to left and all the worlds were shaking similar to the movement of her 'hand'.
This defense helped me tremendeously and in addition to the judgement that I'm 'Innocent', her defense caused a great pipe of abundance to descent on the materialistic world (this world).
When I was found innocent, a Nigun (melody) of Angels began, an indescribable spiritual melody than can never be described to the lower world. It's a melody of praise to HKB'H sang by the angels about the power of a Mitzvah and its strength gives HaShem so much pleasure and נחת רוח. Anyone that merits to hear this melody sang to HKB'H, his ego becomes immediately cancelled for Eternal HKB"H.
The final verdict was given that I'm innocent and must return to my body. I didn't want to go back to the lower world, I wanted to go up, to ascent higher. I was so scared to return to this world, I was petrified to return to this world and sin again. I yelled, "Who will guarantee that I'll not sin again? Don't take me down to the world. How will I save myself from sinning?".
But this was the verdict-- return to my body and live in the lower world. When I realized that this was the final verdict, I asked from Chacham Yosef Chaim, the Ben Ish Chai, (zchuto yagen alenu, amen), "Before returning me to my body, please take me to Rabbi Natan Uziel (zs'kl)."
Tzaddikim have more power in Shamayim than the Malachim (angels) and the angels didn't have the permission to take me upwards to Rabbi Natan Uziel. The Ben Ish Chai himself took me upwards to the 3rd world. This world is totally white, to understand this white color, snow is black in comparison.
In the 3rd world on the western side was a Heichal (palace) and on top of the Heichal was a rainbow of fire and the Ben Ish Chai pointed towards this Heichal and says, "Inside this palace is Rabbi Natan Uziel."
The 3rd world was so holy, I was unable to be in this place. Even though I was judged to be innocent, I didn't have enough merits to be able to stand in such an extreme holy place. The Ministering Angels held me and descended me to the 2nd world. The Ben Ish Chai also came to the 2nd world and said, "Go back to your body in the lower world. Your friend is waiting for you."
Before I descended to the lower world, the Ben Ish Chai asked me 3 times, "What are you going to do in the lower world?". I was embarrased to answer because in my mind, I was a wicked man.
The Ben Ish Chai asked again the same question, with a stern look, "What are you going to do in the lower world?". I answered, "I will do Teshuva, I'll repent, I'll return".
After learning the power of building a tombstone, your donation can tip the scales in your favor! Please consider a chesed shel emes, a kindness of truth.
Visit Devorahhanevia.com for donation opportunities and without a doubt you will increase a large amount of pleasure to our Father in Heaven in participating in the extraordinary Mitzvah of building the Tzion for Devorah HaNevia, a'h.
Support the Path! - Posted at Mystical Paths, MPaths.com.
BS"D - בסיעתא דשמיא