Tuesday, September 26, 2006

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Lechatchilah Ariber - Go Over!

I was offered a chance to meet with a major mekubal from Israel (a major Israeli kabbalist) and made arrangements (thanks N!). At first I wanted to, then I became concerned over the path of the mekubal (kabbalist) versus the path of the rebbaim (the chassidic rebbe's).

I found myself in fear of going. I have visited holy rebbaim (holy righteous torah leaders of the chassidim), always with awe of the kedusah (holiness) of holy men closely connected with Hashem. Yet the path of rebbaim is one of chesed (kindness), while giving a bracha (a blessing) they are unlikely to hold your averot (your sins) up for you to recognize you are the source of your own troubles. One of my experiences with a mekubal showed they hold up the strict emes (truth) and the path of gevurah (strictness), and that's sometimes very difficult to bear.

But then I thought, how can I be in fear of a man with vision? Should I not be in fear of the source of the vision? How can I fear a man who may hold up the evidence rather than being worried about the One True Judge? So I decided to go. Further, I strongly felt a need to take my children, for how do you counteract a world of movies and games and so many false visions that, no matter how hard I try invade our lives, if not with a vision of emes (truth)? So I decided to go, received my wife's agreement, and went to bed.

Then I woke up in the early morning very disturbed. Finally I got back to sleep, after which I woke up very late, not getting going till after the time of prayer. After the night I had, and with plans to visit the mekubal, I felt a strong need to go to mikvah. The mikvah was closed for renevations after 7am this morning, too late. How could I go to a mekubal without cleansing myself first?

Then the children were very unusually difficult in the morning, one couldn't find a pair of shoes and ended up staying home, another couldn't find a kipah and also ended up staying home. At which point I threw in the towel, gave up, this day is lost, I was nervous anyway, forget it, can't go visit a tzadik (a holy righteous man) in this condition.

Then my wife came home and announced the minivan was overheating. And then my eldest son didn't show up home on time at all. At which I perked up and said, this is too much. It's too many obstacles. It's above and beyond what's normal, it's intentional obstacles. Time to follow the instructions of the Chabad Rebbe's of the past, Lechatchilah Ariber, Go Over! Don't fiddle with the obstacles, don't try to go around, wiggle past, stop the calculations and considerations, just go over!

So I told my wife, pack up, we're going. I ran to the mikvah, lo and behold late afternoon they were all finished, it was empty and available. Ran to the store and bought 2 gallons of anti-freeze, maybe the radiator is just low (maybe a slow leak or something managable). Put in 1 gallon, ran the van for 20 minutes, no problem! Must find the missing son, he's at minyan, no he's not. He's helping put up Succos, his cell phone goes dead, he's with a friend, they're back at the house, no their not, finally he's back at shul, don't get frustrated hang in there, load him up we're on the way.

It's a fast day, we're grumpy, the older children are grumpy (they're fasting too), but we're not fighting in the car, absolutely no traffic to get there, and the van's not overheating. Tackled head on, all the obstacles faded away.

We arrived, we met, but that's another story.

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From Mystical Paths, MPATHS.COM. Reading it somewhere else? See it there, click.

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