Sunday, May 15, 2005

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Israeli Government Outlaws the Color Orange



This morning, Minister of Public Thought Matan Vilnai, together with Minister of Public Secuirty Gideon Ezra and Minister of Justice Tzipi Livni declared the color orange to be an enemy combatant. As such, it is subject to immediate arrest and adminstrative detention (without trial) as a significant public security risk.

Orange appealed to the Supreme Court, but Chief Justice Barak quickly ruled that declarations by the Minister of Public Thought could no longer be thought about (except by the Justices), and therefore Orange not only had no standing to raise the issue but was in violation of the law by doing so. Orange quickly departed from the court.

All citizens (at least Jewish ones) found to be wearing the color Orange will be considered in violation of thought rulings and subject to arrest, interrigation and administrative detention, unless they are part of evening wear for those living in the upscale sections of Tel Aviv.

Jaffa orange growers also brought an appeal to the Supreme Court, declaring their livelihood at risk by the ruling. However, Justice Elyakim Rubinstein declared them idiotim gamurim (complete idiots), as in Hebrew the color orange and the fruit orange aren't the same word. He made sure they understood that Katom (the color) should be avoided while Tapuz (the fruit) should be consumed. The orange growers left, though their trucks were seen unloading a year's supply to to the court dining room.

Chevrat Orange, the Israeli cell phone company, quickly announced that they were renaming themselves Chevrat Adom (Red), in honor of the government's excellent new policy. Further, internal research showed that the naming of the company Orange had been a anti-anti-zionist plot.

Prime Minister Sharon was questioned by the media about the ruling, and whether the public could protest it. He reminded the reporters that Israel is a democracy and the public is free to protest any matter they wish, as long as they don't think any thoughts that have been ruled inappropriate public thoughts, associated with them in any way (such as wearing or using them), or congregate in groups greater than 10 in public (he would have done less than 10 but didn't want to seem like he was matching a ruling from Roman times).

One might think that the story above is a parody, but it's not...

Israel National News reports: (click here for original)

Prayer in Orange Forbidden at Western Wall
02:26 May 15, '05 / 6 Iyar 5765

Guards at the Western Wall prohibited visitors at a Remembrance Day ceremony from wearing orange shirts. Orange is the official color of the anti-Disengagement struggle.

Sarah Baumol from Gush Etzion said her eighth-grade son and the rest of his class went to the Western Wall in Jerusalem to pray at the conclusion of a school trip. "A policeman stood there and demanded that my son (and several of his friends) remove any orange T-shirts or bands and tossed them in a pile," said Baumol.

She said his son asked the guard for his name but simply was told that he was acting under orders.

"My son was wearing his orange T-shirt under two other layers, a sweater and a white shirt. He was forced to undress in front of the crowds pouring in and give in this shirt," she added.

"My other son had his orange bracelet removed by this policeman."

Ninth-graders from a girls' high school in Bet El also attended the Remembrance Day ceremony at the Western Wall. The girls were shocked when classmates who were wearing orange-colored clothing and bracelets were told at security checks to step aside. Those that didn't agree to or couldn't remove the orange articles of clothing from their bodies were denied access to the holy site.

Baumol added, "My son and all of our family are quite devastated by this, and I would like to see I can take legal action against the police."


Cross posted to Mystical Paths, Israpundit and Engage for a Secure Israel.

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