Sunday, November 28, 2004

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What Luck!

My luck has been so incredible since setting up this blog and listing my email address!!! see, over there to the right --->

I've won international lotteries 44 times, and 28 former foreign dictators have contacted me to assist in moving their money to the West, giving me 25% for the privilege. As soon as I send them all my bank account information, I should be worth billions!!! Some of the most interesting new soliciations are the ones specifically targeted at Muslims, as new Islamic devotee's wish to have their former millions used in the West...

Here's 2 examples of the 63 notices I've received in the past 3 weeks:

SPINLOTTO

INTERNATIONAL PRIZE AWARD DEPT.

REF Number:BIS/342-ILGI2143/04
BATCH No: EAPA/15/096/GBES
TICKET No: 12047532274-3321
SERIAL No: 143-546981
LUCKY No: 7-23-67-22-92-44

RE: WINNING FINAL NOTIFICATION

Sir, Madam

We are pleased to inform you of the result of the Lottery Winners International programs held on the 26TH of NOVEMBER 2004 Your E-mail address attached to Ticket number 12047532274-3321 with Serial number 143-546981 drew the lucky numbers 7-23-67-22-92-44, which consequently won in the 1st category, you have therefore been approved for a lump sum payout of US$ 1,000,000.00 (One Million United States Dollars). This is from a total cash prize of USD$10,000,000.00 Million shared amongst Ten International Lucky Winners in the Category A + (Plus).

CONGRATULATIONS!!!


Great, I'm looking forward to my millions soon! :-)

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Assalamu Alaikum,
In the name of Allah the Beneficent; the Merciful,the Master of the day of Judgement , I greet you in the name of Allah. I am formally Miguel Marcos Llera from Cuba.I was born into a strong and devoted catholic family.All through my life i have been doing business and i was into gold
mining and selling.I met our creator and the meciful one Almigthy Allah when i was having a business deal with one of my partners from U.A.E and from the day i was given the Islamic bath(Tawheed) my name changed to Al Ahli Usman.On 10th Feburary 2004 myself and my family and my business partner took a flight from kish to sharjah and we flew kish airline.We had a plane crash and all members of my family including my very good friend lost thier lives.I give thanks to Allah that i am one of the lucky ones that survived the crash.The airline was under the management of one Mr Shabab Attarzadeh who was later sacked after this incidence.I had to return to my home town in cuba and i am now left with my relatives to take care of me. Owing to the fact that my relatives knows i have reverted to islam,they have left me to suffer in pain.what disturbs me most is stroke that i have.I have developed paralyses from my waist region downward i am taking this bold step to let you know that i want to leave in your care the sum of $12.8million United States Dollars i deposited in a security company for the enhancement and propagation of the word of Almigthy Allah. Having known my condition I decided to donate this fund to a mosque,or an islamic organisation or better still a muslem that will utilize this funds the way I am going to instruct here in. My main aim of doing this is for the propagation and upholding of the message of Prophet Muhammad(peace be upon Him).I want this funds to be used for Zakah and for helping the poor in fasting in Ramadhan and performing pilgrimage.Also In the western world,you find out that the message of Allah has not yet really gotten there.The
message of Islam must not only be preached and upheld,but also our youths have to be called back to the right path and thereby reawaken their consciousness.Allah didnt send Muhammad(peace be upon him)to one particular tribe,but to mankind at large.Surah #2.254 "Allah commands His slaves to spend out of what He has provided them in His way,in charity that they may accumulate thier reward with thier lord and proprietor.It is for this reason they should hasten up to do in this world before the Day of Resurrection in which neither bargaining nor friendship nor intercession shall avail. No one can bail himself out or can he ransom himself even if he spent,for that purpose,and earth load of gold. Nor can kinship avail him.(#23.101)For now i dont want any calls from you because of the presence of my relatives that are always around me and i dont want them to know my plans.

Hoping to hear from you soonest and do notify your interest to help me to propagate islam.All praise is due to Allah Who brought everything into existence and may the peace and blessing of Allah be upon our noble Prophet Mohammad(peace be upon him) and His virtous adorers till the
day of Judgement. May Allah bless you as you respond to my plea.
Ma-Salam,
Al Ahli Usman


Wow, $12.8 million to propogate Islam, and all I've got to do to receive it is send my bank account info. (insert heavy sarcasm here) How fortunate I am to have received this email!

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